My Heart is Closed for Business

My Heart is Closed for Business

 

My heart is closed for business

Yes, that place you used to dump your pain

The chalice you thought, was an ever empty vessel

Is not accepting any more of your emotional poison

 

You abused my soft kind heart

Beat it, judged it and criticized it until it could take no more

Now it’s blocked off

And it’s taking a stand

 

Closed, locked, guarded and shielded

Like a knight in a suit of black mirrors

What you hate in me is only the reflection of yourself

And it’s being thrown right back at you

 

My heart is not your toxic dumping ground

It’s not the church for you to confess your sins

Transmute your own pain for yourself now

My heart is closed for business

 

Art: Zoe Langman

This was supposed to be purple, but it ended up being a tone that looks not unlike human skin for me in the center.  As I painted it, it brought up a lot of powerful and painful memories. I kept getting the word chalice coming through and empty vessel and closed for business and then the rest came through after I meditated on it.

I don’t like the image and the poem is not beautiful either, but it’s a pretty accurate description of what empathic people and highly sensitive people suffer from what I have read and what I know personally. People love to dump their problems on us, and at some point, we can’t take any more.

Most of the time, they don’t even know they are doing it, and then they wonder why we get sick, ill and depressed. I’ve been attacked many times for saying I can’t take anymore and there is no understanding.

I’ve felt often like I’ve been beaten up and left for dead, with prolonged exposure to certain people. It really is the feeling I get when the cup is overflowing with other peoples poison. I feel like I’ve been poisoned myself.

And this is why I am in Bali now, to remove the toxic overflow that came in from all angles and to learn to protect myself from the bad seeds. Those that just can’t stop throwing out their toxic poison.

Unless you are deeply sensitive and empathic, this is very difficult to understand, but this is how it is.

There is another story on this topic called The Demons and their Malevolent Seeds of Judgement. 

I’m Zoe Langman, a 42-year-old welsh Nomad. On December 19th 2017, I packed up my flat, put all my essentials into a suitcase, and started my Nomadic Journey. I don't think it's ever too late to reinvent or redesign your life. I'm currently in Bali on a creative sabbatical, planning my next lifestyle redesign.

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