Amaya - Annelie Solis

The Attempted Assasination of Eye

You are sat on the dusty floor, mentally trying to prepare yourself for the events of this evening’s New Moon circle. This is your first chance to lead the sacred circle. Your elders have taken a journey, so you alone have the responsibility to lead the female community into the powerful new expansive moon of Sagittarius. Moon of the Warrior Spirit.

To say you are daunted would be a huge understatement. You have never been allowed to attend the circles before, even though it’s your birthright.

In your mind you were outcast, never really knowing why. But you watched the magic and rituals, smelt the incense and heard the songs and chants from behind the bushes. Surprisingly no one ever spotted you, even though you’d crouched in the same spot from when you were 5, mesmerized by the spectacle and willing yourself there and to be in sisterhood with the community.

Lucky thing you watched in secret otherwise, you would not have a clue what to do, and you would look foolish in front of the other women. That is a disgrace you do not wish to endure.

Nevertheless, your nerves are on fire, and the bees are buzzing in your head as you try to concentrate on setting the circle, directly in line with the great pyramid, to ensure correct alignment with sky and earth, and draw in their full power.

———-

The new moon is intention setting, for the tribe. A time for the women to sit in the circle and share what is on their minds and then pull from their intuitive mind’s eye what they wish to create within the next 30 days.

It’s a deeply important ceremony for the tribe, as the wishes and intentions evoke the wills of the gods, who will help them to alchemize their desires for themselves, their families and the entire community.

———-

 

The silence disappears, A huge group of chattering flying monkeys appears from nowhere and is buzzing around your freshly prepared circle, screeching all sorts of nonsense. They are throwing the cushions around and behaving like a bunch of unruly school children.

“Stop it, you scream,” go away, “I need to prepare the ceremony”.

They completely ignore you and all start laughing together at you. One of them starts chanting and the rest of them chime in.

 

How will you lead a circle, when you can’t sing

How will you lead a circle when you can’t speak

How will you lead a circle when you are not wise

How can you lead a circle when you can’t dance

How can you lead a circle when you can’t draw

 

All of them dancing around singing together their made up chants, so loud in your ears, that it mixes with the buzzing bees already there and feels like your head is going to blow off. Each moment longer they chant, you fell yourself getting smaller and smaller, moving closer and closer to the earth and wishing that you were not here at all.

“Why are they trying to make me feel so bad you think? “ What’s the point of their torment?”

Every time they sing a line, you feel it stabbing in your stomach. The pain is getting heavier and heavier and you are afraid that it will start the colic again that you had so often as a child. That always had you rolling around on the floor in agony for hours, and you could not afford to have that happen today.

You know that you can’t do those things well as you were told over and over as a child, but you thought you had got past it now you were older and in official womanhood. Why does it hurt so much when they taunt you think, and why do I feel like I am being physically attacked by their words.

I was always taught “sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me”. That is just not true as what they are saying feels like it’s cutting me like knives.

You suddenly start to feel madder and madder and just start screaming at them uncontrollably. They stop chanting and start laughing.

“We are going to tell your elders you are crazy”, one of them says

“Yes, that you were shouting at us” another pipes up

“That you can’t do your job alone”. A tiny baby monkey manages to get out

“They told us you could not do the job”, the leader said and now looks at you. All over the place and panicking after just a couple of jokes thrown at you. We are only kidding and you can’t take one single joke.”

“You need to learn to man up and roll with the punches,”  he says in a jokey manner.

You look up through tear stained eyes. What a horrible gang of flying monkeys. Why today of all days did they decide to come up with this to taunt me, you wonder.

They are always there helping the elders and now it’s my turn they want to tear me down as if I am some kind of conqueror, that’s come in from out of town. Not one of their own. You really don’t understand.

———-

You start tidying the cushions once again, in hope that they will get bored of their tirades of belittlement and leave you alone to get ready and heal your sick stomach. You are now thinking to yourself that you don’t want to do this again if this is what leading a group is like. Being a woman is really horrible you think. And you decide to tell your elders, that you can’t do this again. It’s too much for you.

As you are in deep thought you feel something staring at you. You look up and see one of the flying monkeys looking at you really viciously.

He spits to the others,  “I’m having her eye”.

He launches at you, jumps on your head and you feel his craws scratching blindly at your face. You start tumbling and trying to push him off. Hitting him, with one hand, while trying to protect your eyes with the other. It’s all happening so fast.

Then you feel another one on you, they are jumping from behind, so you can’t see. You fall over, head smashing on the floor. Everything goes black.

———-

 

When you wake up it’s still dark, you open your eyes slowly, not sure where you are. You see a huge white bird next to you, standing on one leg. Watching you patiently, as if waiting for you to wake up.

“What happened”, you say?

“Flying monkeys attacked you. They were trying to take one of your eyes. Luckily I heard the commotion and flew down. I threatened to swallow every single one of their tongues if they did not disappear and take their gaslights with them. “

“They were threatening to use their gaslights to set fire to your circle.”

Gaslights you wonder. You did not even see them with any lights. They must have hidden them well.

“I heard their cruel chanting, and mocking, those monkeys are very evil. You should best stay away from them.”

You dare not tell him, that they are part of your elders wider circle, as what would he think. The shame. So you keep quiet. How shameful that members of your tribe are attacking and belittling you-you think. You wish you could speak to him about it, as it’s weighing so heavily on your heart, but you decide not to. If the monkeys tried to steal your eye, what else could happen you wonder?

He looks at you and says, “you are ready for your circle. You have 10 minutes until your guests arrive.”

“I will help you to get ready, but the most important thing of all to remember is that they do not understand what they are saying, Their belittlements, their curses, their ill-understood chants are not from them. They are just stupid flying monkeys, who have been groomed to manipulate”. They don’t know what they are really doing.

“Be aware that not everyone is to be trusted. There are people in this land, that see gifts in you that they also do not understand, so they seek to destroy you, through their undermining and belittlements. Judgment comes from the weak.”

“Now is the powerful moon of Sagittarius. This is the perfect time for you to rise up and stand in your own power. Set your powers of intention. The sky is the limit for you and your sisters with this moon.

“When your group arrives, hold hands and root down into the earth and the underworld with your roots together. Set a group intention. Your roots will overlap, bind and entwine. Together as sisters, you will hold infinite power.

“Chant to the North, the South, the west and the east and call in the powers of the underworld and the upper worlds. They will assist you greatly.”

“Please get your sisters to chant this together and together you will rise.

 

We scribe to our own realities, we are empowered

We scribe to our own realities, we are empowered

We scribe to our own realities, we are empowered

We scribe to our own realities, we are empowered

 

“There are many ill powers of repression throughout the kingdoms today. It’s time to use your group as a powerful force to resist their belittlements and behaviors and see them for the petty manipulations of the weak they really are. Do make sure that you scribe your intentions, therein lies there true power.”

 

I’m Zoe Langman, a 42-year-old welsh Nomad. On December 19th 2017, I packed up my flat, put all my essentials into a suitcase, and started my Nomadic Journey. I don't think it's ever too late to reinvent or redesign your life. I'm currently in Bali on a creative sabbatical, planning my next lifestyle redesign.

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